Buona sera friends and strangers,
I am not writing from the perspective of a fighter today, but rather a seasoned traveler. there is a line in Jean Luc Godard's 1960's film Pierrot Le Fou in which the main character(hardly a protagonist), Pierrot walks away from a car filled with money which he incinerates telling his estranged cohort, Marie Anne, "Let's go. Travel broadens the mind." The flaming vehicle may be irrelevant, but I have always loved the line. Travel does indeed broaden our perspective, which can help guide us on the narrow path as believers.
As of late I have personally struggled with my goals over the next five years. By age thirty I see myself as married with one kid, serving God in some way, either as a pastor or leading some non-profit organization. At the moment, it feels impossible that those circumstances will come to pass. I feel like I have a thousand questions about the direction in my life, and at present little control. I pray for answers to shine light on my destination, my purpose, God's plan for my life. Yet if I knew that already, it would nullify the purpose of having faith in God. Today I heard some good advice from a pastor: you seem like a guy who is searching for answers when God is the solution. You are looking for the path without realizing that God is the path.
This has triggered a lot of similar thoughts. 1) a Blackalicious song that says,"the final destination used to be my main question, but then I searched and all I was lookin' for was present." 2) the line the Guatemalan poet wrote in my journal almost five years ago,"No vayas por el camino que te lleve, pero ve por donde no hay camino y deja huellas." 3) the psychological concept of cognitive mapping.
In my adventures I have predominantly traveled alone, and when I didn't I would find time to explore by myself. as per personal tradition, when I arrive in a city I don't know, I spend the first day getting lost. This way I can observe landmarks, and become familiar with places so that I can avoid getting lost in the future. It also gives me a chance to study what areas seem safe or dangerous, where I can find the nearest stores and farmacies, as well as a brief overview of the general activities of the people. Right now my compass is pointing in several directions at once, but it is a time for internal exploration. The notion of being lost is frightening because it means that we are not in control of our destiny. It makes us feel incapable of controlling our destiny.
In the midst of a torrential storm at sea, there is a lone mariner. A captain whose crew has abandoned the ship. The waves crash against the boat. The undertow sweeps beneath the bough, and the winds beat against the mast. In all of this the boat is not moved because there is something unseen that holds the vessel firm. Beneath the water there is a heavy anchor that keeps the captain safe and stable. When the storm clears, he will pull up his anchor and continue onward.
I may feel lost, but it is a time for growth and maturation in my faith. A time to obsevre my character and strengthen its roots. Where I will go is not as important as where I am. Sometimes it is more important to realize that God is with you, and He will illuminate your path in His time as long as you obey Him.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by the right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." -Psalm 73:23-24
Que Dios les bendiga,
Seth
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